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Fatal Longing
About Me
she turns around in circles and leaps from the bridge's edge, to fall and to long to her fatal dismay.
how bright the sun seems in a shed of broken light where the darkest moon's kisses brush with venom sting.
the 'i wish' fade to nothing but a chasm remark, passed on by in the nature's human kind. and how i long and lust this
trickery. how i wish and fake this dream.
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| Quick update and a promise |
[ | | 12.10.07 at 11:12am] |
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mood |
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"Vermillion (pt 2)"- Slipknot (really pretty song) |
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I haven't really been posting here...I've been posting more at okcupid and greatestjournal, and I feel bad about that....as this was my first love. ^^ So I promise to post here more, swear.
A lot has been going on and now the semester is winding down. I have one paper and one final left and it's crazy, if you ask me- crazy. I don't have the energy ot write anymore and I'm to the point where I could care less about my grades this semester...they won't be bad because of the first half, but they won't be as good as they could have been. This semester was more about the places I've been, the people I've met, and th elike. Those are what really matter and the experiences I've had have been fabulous.
I'm going to miss the friends I made here...especially Laura and Riff..the two of them are amazing and both have promised me a visit as I them...but it's exciting...I think I've made soem good friends..and with pretty accents too. xD hah..and both like the same sort of things I do which makes me feel special. <3
And ooh I have a new piercing....So I now have snakebites..and my hair is hot pink...but it won't be that way for long...I'm going to go back to black...my mom asked if I would and I don't mind really. It was fun while it lasted and I might end up doing it again. xD
<3
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| Torture Garden and Photos |
[ | | 10.07.07 at 11:35am] |
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"Goodnight"- The Birthday Massacre |
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This weekend I went to Torture Garden, and I have to say, nothing I have ever been to in my life could have prepared me for what this was- Nothing.
I met Dan and Harriet at the tube station at about 9ish and they came back to the flat to drop off their stuff, grab their fetishwear and we all made a mad dash to the club, which, ironically enough, is in a converted church, and is called Mass. How quaint. ^^ The club didn't open until 10, but since we hadn't bought tickets in advance we got there mad early to make sure we got tickets.
When they finally let us in, they check to make sure that what you are going to change into is acceptable for this club and the theme and than we pay, £28 pounds- fucking expensive- and than we change...
Some people had the most amazing outfits...I don't know how they got them on- seriously. There was this couple in latex military wear with hoods and all and the clothes were so impossibly tight that getting them on much have been a bitch. And some people creeped me out- they had no clothes on except maybe a collar or a jacket...seriously...At one point Dan and I were sitting on a couch and this naked guy sitting next to me (he did have a collar on) was playing with himself. ¬shudder¬ It creeped me out..
I wore a pvc nurses dress, hat, and mask. I do have a photo of it, so it's going up. ^^
Anyway, there were four different areas in this club. Area 1 consisted of a dancefloor and a stage...the music played in this area was swing, some 50s stuff, general fun music that is danceable but nothing heavy. The stage was for the TG fashion show and the different fetish shows that went on through the night. Area 2 consisted of a small room, the couples room, where people were making out, having sex- all that jazz. Area 3 was another dance floor with heavy music-techno, industrial, that kind of stuff. There were also two large cages where, amazingly, people were being tied up. xD Area 4 was downstairs..it was the dungeon- aptly named. It basically consisted of several toys, including a very small cage, an iron horse, some crosses, that kind of stuff and anyone could use these play stations. The music down here was ambient.
Dan and I hung out down in the dungeon watching for awhile before I put him in the cage and amused myself by turning him on...but his hands were handcuffed to the top so he could do nothing about it. xD Hah..it amused me. ^^ We did go up and dance for awhile, which is amazing. ^^ And at one point the only place to sit was in the couples room, and there was only one seat, so I sat on his lap facing him and my dress rode up pretty high in the back and this creepy guy came up to me and pinched my ass...not cool..it creeped me out...and than he asked for a small kiss, so I gave him my cheek and he proceeded to try and maul my face. Psht.
Anyway...we left at 6am...The thing went till 6 and we probably would have left earlier however the tubes were closed until 5 sometimes so we stayed till the end and got some lovely looks on our way back. ^^
it was amazing, to put it mildly.
And than I met up with Dan, his sister, and his sister's boyfriend yesterday in Camden Town and that was fun...^^
And PICTURES- a few select ones from England and than my outfit from last night.
( Read more... )
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| Shopping and Papers. xD |
[ | | 10.04.07 at 10:45am] |
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DJ Loopy- "I'm a Raver" |
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esterday I overstepped one too many bounds and succumbed to the delicious offerings of Camden Town. I had planned on only going to Cyberdog for my fuzzy legwarmers and I ended up walking out of that store with over $100 dollars spend....and than I proceeded to find my way to three other stores in the area, all in the company of Wes, and spent a whole shitload more.
I mean, I had birthday money to use, but once it is cut in half to pretty much become Pounds, I had alot less than I had hoped, but whatever. ^^
I did buy....
*Hot Pink fuzzy legwarmers
*uv pink necklace
*goggles
*small coffin purse
*pvc nurses dress
*tiny top hat with a veil thing
And now I have an excuse to go back and buy the nurses mask and hat. xD I need help- enough said.
And I DID finish one of my essays when I got back, so that's a good thing! =^.^= I only have one more that's due on Monday and than my other is due next Thursday, so I don't feel like I'm crunching anymore at the moment. ^^
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| Amsterdam is more than just pot and prostitutes... |
[ | | 10.01.07 at 2:11pm] |
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"Friends Like These"- Mesh |
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I've gotten myself into a rut, which comes from a glitch in my personality and thus leaves me struggling to hold onto everything. I can't afford to fall apart,and it is getting ever so close to that point.
I went to Amsterdam and Bruges this past weekend with a bunch of kids from the FSU program. Now, I'm all up for excitement and all that jazz, but I don't need to be drunk or high to have a good time- never have I needed it and honestly, pot makes me sick...why, I don't know...but it does. But,being in Amsterdam I was going to get a full experience of the place..however, I also wanted to do normal things...so anyway:
Stephanie and Kelly and I did absinthe the first night...we smoked a little...had hash brownies, and space muffins...all of which was fine and dandy...and than we wandered the red light district and ghot ot see the women in these like glass window things...that was pretty snazzy, if I do say so myself. I wanted pictures, but meh, you're not allowed too....I couldn't even find a post card with them on it..psht.
The issue comes in the second day...I got up early to do the clog maker tour and the cheese farm tour...I was the only one from FSU who went...but anyway, it was fun...I saw them make those wooden clogs, I saw old windmills, and I got to try fresh cheese...fun stuff, oui? ^^
But anywya, I get back, and it was like threeish, so I go to a museum and got to see "The Night Watch" by Rembrandt and "The Love Letter" by Vermeer. ¬Melts¬ They are amazing paintings. And than I hung out with Matt and we went to the Anne Frank House...which is just profoundly moving.
I hung out with him for awhile until we went back to the hostel and I ended up going out with Kelly and Stephanie again...and we went to a live sex show...yeah...kinda odd, but we were in Amsterdam so mm we had too?
The problem I have is this: I end up doing things myself because I don't have to drink all the time...and honestly, most of the kids on this trip (Amsterdam and than even just the London program) want to drink all the time...I'd rather spend my money to get into a club to dance than sit in a pub for hours drinking....so I try to find someone else to hang otu with...and low and behold I find Matt who is in one of my classes...but he won't go near that stuff and he's a very very very staunch Catholic (recently Catholic) and we got in a huge heated argument about some stuff dealing with the doctrine...he doesn't see anything wrong with the Church, when there is a lot wrong with the institution.
But anyway...I either end up with people who are "drink, drink, drink" or I end up with someone who condemns it and goes on about the moral implications of everything...It's a weird situation. I'll figure it out eventually, but it's annoying, to put it mildly/
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| "Sounds of the Mythic Mystic East, mixed with the wild wild West" |
[ | | 09.17.07 at 5:27pm] |
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Sunday afternoon (Sept 16th) was the lovely Thames River Festival. Wes, Becca, and I wandered over there after a day of procrastinating and not doing much and wandered around, saw stuff for sale, and all that jazz. It took place right by the London Eye, which has beautiful lighting effects as the sun goes down, which I did get a beautiful photo of, so as soon as I fix my laptop, I'm doing a major recap photo post...so I apologize in advance.
We bought fudge and cider- amazing stuff- and the three of us were crushing on the guys selling the alcohol, which I do believe, is the only reason we bought any. ^^ Wes' guy we think liked him. ^_^ heh. Becca's had a girlfriend, and we suspect mine did too...but oh well. xD
We sat and listened to some music, which was this Easter type music with a guy rapping, or, as the singer/rapper called it: "Sounds of the mythic mystic East mixed with a little wild wild west" ^^ Apt title I should say!
Although we were goign to stay for the parade, that failed pretty miserably, as we wandered a bit, watched some of the parade, watched kids at the skate park, hunted for a bathroom, and still it wasn't even 9 yet..and the fireworks didn't start until 9:45...so we hung out a bit longer and than gave up at 9:00 pretty much as none of us really needed to see fireworks (though we heard them later and wow, they were amazing sounding).
Aw, and my family sent me a card today with a bunch of pictures from before I left including a picture of my sisters and I, my family, the puppies (Daisy isn't really a puppy anymore, but we call her one anyway) and the kitties (again, neither are really kitties anymore). That made me happy whenI got back from my first class of the day.
Tonight I'm meeting with Gideon for drinks and talk- which should be interesting, as he's an English teacher, and well, I'm a creative writing/english major...It will give me something to do as well. ^^
There is a club I want to go to tonight, that, if I can talk any of my roomies into going, I'd be thrilled. xD Absolutely thrilled! ^^ if not, I can be patient.
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[ | | 09.15.07 at 10:39am] |
I got ditched last night, but it's just as well- I wasn't feeling well at all. Joshua actually called me and I spoke with Charlie. ^^ Hah, it was interesting...and I drank wine, ate chocolate, and wrote...and went to bed by 12. I needed sleep...my body was rebelling.
I feel better now. xD
We're going to a film festival today and tonight I'm either going dancing with the roomies or hanging out with the lovely Nico..or as my roomies call him Neato Nico...¬shifty eyes¬
We'll see.
rwar.
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| Stratford-Upon-Avon |
[ | | 09.14.07 at 12:09pm] |
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music |
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"Let the Record Show"- Emilie Autumn |
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I can't stand when people leave in the middle of a play. I can understand movies- I've done it before- but seriously...a play has actors right up there working..it's a one shot deal, and when people just walk out in the middle it makes me angry. ¬nods¬
We went to Stratford-Upon-Avon yesterday, and it's really a beautiful little city...we saw Shakespeare's burial place, his birth place, and we saw the Royal Shakespeare Company's version of "Twelfth Night." It was set in a victorianesque time and was quite well done...the guy from 3rd Rock From the Sun was in it too as Malvolio.
Still, so many kids from our program left before it was over and hung out at the pub next door (The Dirty Duck) until we had to leave...it kinda..no, very much so...pissed me off. Still, I enjoyed it a lot. ^^
My Zune stopped working yesterday halfway through the trip which wasn't good, but I figured out how to restart it and it's better....
And I finished my application for USC Upstate which was good...sent in all the paperwork, etc so now it's a waiting game. xD
And...I ordered my ticket for Kill Hannah on the 24th...
And....I got the final papers on my trip to Amsterdam and Bruges. Quite excited, if I do say so myself.
And...for the break, I've been talking with Lisa of Waken the Dead Photography...for up in Scotland. Twould be pretty exciting, I should say. xD
<3
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[ | | 09.13.07 at 10:26am] |
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Before the lovely journey to Stratford-Upon-Avon at 12:30, I am once again in the computer lab. I really need to get my laptop situation, because having it and not being able to use it defeats the whole purpose of having had my parents to ship it to me...ssoo...I will get it fixed. For the meantime however, I'm here.
We didn't have classes yesterday and my one class didn't have a field trip so I was honestly unsure of what to do all day...it's not that I can't find things it do, it's more that having that much time and only a limited amount of money is a problem. ^^ I did end up wandering around record stores with Becca looking for some good music and than playing £4 worth of the Korean version of DDR...I did find a regular DDR here as well so I'm going to get better at that...I just need to practice.
Than I was hanging out in the computer lab for a bit and at around 7ish I went up stairs to cook dinner...and let me tell you, I'm sick of eating the same things every single day....It's cheaper to cook, and because our fridge is ssoo tiny it's even cheaper and smarter to buy things that don't have to go in the fridge..so I've been living on pastas, chicken, tomato soup...granted I've tried different pastas, get different sauces, but damn...that's like all I eat.
But anyway I than ended up at a Less Than Jake show with Matt which was fun and interesting...damn, that venue put Tallahassee to shame. xD It was awesome though! I've never listened to Less Than Jake before save a few random songs that people have given me...but yeah. xD
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| Camden Town and dancing. ^^ |
[ | | 09.09.07 at 11:26am] |
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Yesterday was Camden Town. ¬ORGASM¬ It was just...thrilling. ^^
I met up with Nico, who's this really sweet guy from South Africa who's been living here since March, I believe, who I met online when I was looking for people in the area. He showed me around and just...wow.
I've never been into Camden Town before...or rather, the only time I was there was like two summers ago when it was late, things were closed, and the like, but we went at 3pm on Saturday and it was packed! The clothes were to die for and I just know this is going to be where I spend most of my money, but I'm okay with that.
I did buy this beautiful jacket thing which I will take a picture of...I got it for £30 which is amazing, because I was expecting it to be so expensive...even the corsets were relatively cheap...and good quality too..those were only like £69.99. Granted in American money they are kinda pricey, but they are overbust, beautifully decorated and just ¬melts¬.
So I decided, while Nico was showing me around and we were talking (and SA boys have beautiful accents I decided.) that I needed to go back to Cyborg which sold rave and cyberish clothing..along with furry leg warmers...all of which I decided I needed...how I'm going to afford these I have no clue, but I'm going to do it. ^_^ But anyway my list now includes:
*Corset
*A skirt or two (one long, one short?)
*Furry leg warmers
*maybe a pair of pants
*Some tops that I can wear normally as well...or for dress up (Cyborg had some clearance items)
Those are the things I NEED....anything else I will take in stride. ^_^
But anyway, after we finished browsing the stalls we went to get a drink at some pub and he bought mine, which was sweet beyond belief...and I got a Snake Bite, which I quite like..and if they have those in the US I'll be excited. ^_^ But anyway...their drinks here are strong...sso ssoo strong ¬headdesk¬ I felt tipsy after it, though it might have been a combination of attraction, enjoying myself, etc, as well as the drink..but who knows...
So we part ways down at the tube station with my extracting a promise to go to the Birthday Massacre concert and a fetish event here a friend told me about...and we aggreed on meeting again.
I also went with Wes and a bunch of others to a club last night....tres fun. ^_^ Some of the music was odd, but they played 80s, some rap (like Rapper's Delight), some other things like Le Tigre..and well it was fun..it was called After Skool Klub and it's held in a student union of all places..it wsa awesome...
But I wasn't going to drink however it was 1/2 price drinks until 11:30 so Wes bought two and gave me one to hold and told me I could drink some...and than 11:30 came around and well he needed to grab two more so he gave me his other to hold and came back with two more...so I ended up with two cups of Strongbow and I drank them...and yeah...xD
And than I bothered Joshua with me calling him. xD At least it wasn't 3am there like it was here.
Meh and now today laundry, grocery shopping and reading Beowulf..fun, ne?
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[ | | 09.06.07 at 11:08am] |
The first week of classes is over at 4:20 today and I'm thrilled...three day weekends=amazing, and I might have someone to go to Belgium with me. And..I met a kid who looks exactly like Donovan, only his name is Edward. It's been crazy.
I dropped by Art History class for starters, so now I'm only taking 12 credits, and I couldn't be happier. All of my classes for some reason are writing heavy, which sucks, and my Art one was as well, but since I won't be getting credit for it and it was focusing on only architecture (which I do like, don't get me wrong), it had more of a chance of hurting my gpa, than helping it...so it's been dropped.
We went on a trip with my Medieval/Renaissance authors class yesterday and I got to talk a lot with Matt and Edward- two very awesome boys. Matt might come with me to Belgium and Edward is also a creative writing major, so we can chat and what not and it's great...a lot of walking too. Again, I have photos but they aren't up on line yet, and I will post a few as soon as possible. xD
And, I don't think I mentioned here, but I really want to go to Belgium...in particular Gheel...where there is a shrine to my patron saint- Saint Dymphna. I wouldn't mind going to Antwerp either..or Brussels...you know, I need more places to add to my facebook map. Hah. ¬shifty eyes¬
I have plans to hang out with this boyo named Nico on Saturday. He's from South Africa and he's adorable, so I hope we have fun and I hope they don't fall through. My plans with Pete have fallen through several times, but I'm sure it will smooth out..I believe I'm going to a show with him next weekend.
I've also decided this trip will help me get back on track with some things...like eating. I've been cooking in the flat nearly everyday...I've eaten out twice since I've been here..one time couldn't be helped...and I've been eating whole wheat pasta and cooking my own chicken and what not....and I've only had soda (sprite) twice...and well, with all the walking, I'm bound to lose as much as I lost first semester, at the least...if not more. But aside from that, my eating habits will have changed which is good. ¬nods¬
So yes, all is well here...I have my last class of the week at 3 today and than maybe going out drinking with le flat mates? No clue...either way....I won't let this be another early night. xD
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